Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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