Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we're so committed to being not committed
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
