Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!

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  (318): omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!! http://tfl.nu/wtbk
  Replies (14) Good night (1200) Bad night (1557)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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  (403): That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can http://tfl.nu/qmqm
  Replies (28) Good night (856) Bad night (4372)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night

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  (302): I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night http://tfl.nu/y9ju
  Replies (23) Good night (6724) Bad night (1920)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me

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  (248): I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me http://tfl.nu/356r
  Replies (20) Good night (7343) Bad night (1294)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself

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  (902): She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself http://tfl.nu/gzky
  Replies (8) Good night (848) Bad night (3057)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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  (703): My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/7nrp
  Replies (4) Good night (2977) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.

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  (814): Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis. http://tfl.nu/uw51
  Replies (5) Good night (2167) Bad night (765)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.

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  (919): Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed. http://tfl.nu/csse
  Replies (9) Good night (3267) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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  (601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj
  Replies (7) Good night (2173) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night

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  (781): There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night http://tfl.nu/6b77
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You would be my first round pick for a drinking team

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  (541): You would be my first round pick for a drinking team http://tfl.nu/sq48
  Replies (6) Good night (1539) Bad night (477)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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  (850): Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids. http://tfl.nu/dauy
  Replies (5) Good night (1288) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.

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  (320): I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice. http://tfl.nu/yhhi
  Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

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  (412): You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room. http://tfl.nu/nfbu
  Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.

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  (412): its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game. http://tfl.nu/gy0r
  Replies (8) Good night (630) Bad night (265)

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