Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.