I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point