Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.

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  (704): I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo. http://tfl.nu/y8zo
  Replies (21) Good night (634) Bad night (3764)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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  (708): so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone. http://tfl.nu/y8ai
  Replies (16) Good night (4521) Bad night (806)
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  (818): View more from California

  he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came

  (323): View more from California

  i love that song!

  (818): View more from California

  NOT THE POINT

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  (818): he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came (323): i love that song! (818): NOT THE POINT http://tfl.nu/7i6t
  Replies (19) Good night (7417) Bad night (1299)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (10078) Bad night (1118)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.

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  (814): You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride. http://tfl.nu/0b9w
  Replies (6) Good night (3913) Bad night (889)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.

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  (734): Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window. http://tfl.nu/6pvh
  Replies (35) Good night (1569) Bad night (8570)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.

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  (+61): He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him. http://tfl.nu/9g1s
  Replies (6) Good night (2997) Bad night (513)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1316) Bad night (398)
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  (951): View more from California

  You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

  (1-951): View more from California

  This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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  (951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz
  Replies (20) Good night (3669) Bad night (561)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.

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  (402): Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end. http://tfl.nu/ykik
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (518)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering

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  (856): I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering http://tfl.nu/ry4c
  Replies (7) Good night (444) Bad night (216)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

  (941): View more from Florida

  Oh at the liquor store again?

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  (954): I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board. (941): Oh at the liquor store again? http://tfl.nu/01vl
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (168)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!

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  (808): It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint! http://tfl.nu/hn06
  Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (172)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.

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  (941): He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too. http://tfl.nu/ka0m
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (228)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know

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  (434): Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/qpk5
  Replies (2) Good night (269) Bad night (712)

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