forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.