i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
