What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
