4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
