Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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