More tranny stories later!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
