I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
