I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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