I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize