like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
