Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
