Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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