i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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