it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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