apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
