I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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