He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
