As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
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I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
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