i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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