Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
