East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
