Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
