not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You took a bar mat shot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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