have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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