Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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