this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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