Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
