Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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