She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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