fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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