they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize