im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize