How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
