So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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