I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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