i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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