Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
