I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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