I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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