Non-Jews are for practice
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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