You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
