Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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