Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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