Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
