i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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