like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
