college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
