OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
