go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
nutella sex= disaster
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
