Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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