So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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