To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
