How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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